When is enough, enough ?

Bruises, Bruises, Bruises, She kept seeing on her skin. She refused to tell anyone, because of her love for him, Tears fell from her beautiful face every night and day, She didn’t understand what she would do wrong, She did nothing, but loved him and only him. She tried to imagine her life without him…, …Impossible. Bruises, Bruises, Bruises, Seemed to appear again, she had now discovered a thing called self defense or even revenge. Thank God, there were no children, she agreed not to kill him, and she just wanted him to fell her pain. He had nothing, but good intentions; He would claim…He just wanted to be with her and other women. She knew he could get what he wanted, but so could she just in any moment. He didn’t respect her beauty, she loved the attention of others, and maybe if she cheated, but would there be more bruises?
So, this is the story of my life, Yes, me Cynthia Johnson, The one who is always helping others with their problems, but can’t seem to help her own. I love my husband John dearly and many people wonder why. My husband and I have been together since high school, those were the best days. It seems like the closer we grow together, the more we are growing apart. We’ve been married for 4 yrs. now, and I refuse to leave him because he is my life. Yes, I get tired of the bruises, but what can I do? If I fight back he’ll leave and I need him in my life. I can’t see myself loving another. Yes, he cheats and sees other women, But I know he loves me deep down inside. Maybe one day I’ll work up the courage to fight back, but that might be when my love for his dies. Unfortunately, I’m getting help because they say I’m in denial, and blind by love, but come on now, everyone has a first and I want this to be my last.
So, it’s been 2 months and things seem not to be getting better. John brought another women home, while I was out. Of course I did what; every woman would have done, I told her she had to leave, and that he was a married man. Unfortunately he didn’t tell her that. Ooops, guess he lost that one. Therapy seems to be helping me, I’m getting stronger and putting up with less, I’m planning to leave, but I’m waiting for the right day and time. He’s going to miss me when I’m gone I can guarantee that. For some reason my depression is gone, I smile everyday… And now that he sees he’s not getting to me, the bruises haven’t been appearing. Let’s just say he’s getting his revenge, in the most painful way, No drama, no hitting, no killing, just love. Like they say, they never know what they had until it’s GONE!

Child & Spouse Abuse in a Marriage. . .

In an article that I read, Brent Bartholomew defines Spouse abuse as being a "behavior that is destructive to the body, mind, or spirit. In fact, long after any possible physical injuries heal, the emotional scars of abuse may still persist." Sometimes, marriage problems can lead to spouse abuse because the people are disagreeing all the time and they have came to a position where they have nothing else to do and they can not control their anger, so they abuse one another.
Most of the time in marriages, it is women who seem to get abuse. I have a friend, who use to live in a household where all her parents did was argued. She was about the age of five, when her parents finally decided to marry, but it was for her sake. She really wanted to be able to say that her parents are married. The father had four children already by another, but one before her by her mother. She was the last of the children. She was so happy when she heard that they were getting married because this was something she had been longing for. The marriage only lasted for four years. Those four years were the crazy years of her life. It seems like after the split up, she grew up every night. Her mother said, “she had to leave, because she refused to be beaten for no reason and by a man”. the mom wasn’t the only one was being abused it was her too. She use to try and take up for her mother because she knew her father had an anger problem and her mother tried to do everything to please him. Nothing seemed to make him happy, that’s why she just gave up and divorced him. She thought that this would be the end of the drama, she thought wrong. Their daughter is now fifteen and they’ve been divorced since 2002, they’ve been going to court every year since then. Why? Because the father wants custody, but the daughter doesn’t want to live with him because of his anger problem and she’s afraid at the age of fifteen that her father will abuse her again. The mother tries to do everything she can to understand her daughter, but it seems like its impossible for her to understand. Her daughter talks to her crazy, she only respects her to a certain point. The mother talks to her the same way, instead of trying to see why it is that her daughter gives her no respect. This young lady has been through a lot to only be fifteen, it might not be as worst as others homes, but this is still a lot of anger and depression to hold inside. It seems like the older teens get, the more they hold their emotions in.



Work Site: (http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=a8d784d4a0a0c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____)

Divorce...what a word!

One of my fellow bloggers asks the following questions: When is it ok to divorce someone? What is it; do you just start to grow tired of the other person? Is it right to make the other person continue on, when neither of you like each other, simply for the sake of your kid? To answer this question, we have to first understand the definition of divorce. DIVORCE! There are so many definitions when it comes to this word and it causes depression. The dictionary defines divorce as; “The termination of a marriage by court order; the state of having terminated a marriage. To terminate a marriage to someone by obtaining a court order, usually referred to as a divorce decree.” As you notice each definition uses the word “terminate”, which means to destroy. So, to answer you’re following question of when is it ok to divorce someone. I feel that it is never "ok" to divorce someone because marriage is supposed to be a life long commitment. Some people do not keep this commitment because of their disagreements, but then on the other hand we have marriage counselors today to help with marriage problems. I do think that it is possible that these people grow tired of each other, but also they find themselves attracted to others. It is totally normal to be attracted to someone that is not your spouse, but when people in marriages find themselves attracted to another person, rather than their spouse, this simply means that it is something that their spouse is not doing right. To be attracted to someone, is way more than what you see on the outside. Attraction, takes place, in inner beauty, personality, a person’s hearts, and if they agree with you to a certain point. Then, sometimes attraction takes place in the sexual apartment, because sometimes if a person isn’t sexually attracted to their spouse, it can build a wall between them and make their relationship further apart.
In marriages you should always communicate and be honest with one another. A person should never hold things to themselves or lead a person on in the wrong way. So, it is not right to continue on in marriage if you find yourself not liking the opposite person, but you should find away to get along for your child’s sake.

Work Site: (http://www.yourdictionary.com/divorce)

Are your parents "Marriage Problems" affecting you?

"I think I don't want to be married to you anymore," is the most common phrase in marriages today. People that are married and have children do not think about how "divorce" will hurt the family. The child is going to start having emotional problems because he or she is going to think that maybe one parent does not love him or her as much. Going back and forth from different houses every now and then, instead of seeing each parent everyday is going to drive the child crazy. Families today are not how they use to be. Some people that get married are just making a mistake, they believe that it is the right thing to get married, but it turns out to be the exact opposite. Then, you have the people who get married because they find out they are pregnant and they think it is best for the child. Even though, they may be right, they also have to think of it as is this best for me. Families are so corrupted today because people do not get along and the parents are getting married for all the wrong reason. Some people marry because their in it for the money, or they like what they are around for the first couple of months, and some are even being obliged to get married. If this is how some marriages are today, I wonder what they will be like in the future….

Work Cite: (http://www.no-problem-marriage-counseling.com/marriage-problem-article-1-p1.html)

What is your family like?

Imagine that you lived in a family where something was always going wrong. Imagine that you can not explain your feelings and how you feel to your family. Many people today are in families like this. There are so many negative things happening in families today and this is what I am going to be talking about daily. Families go through a lot like, marriage problems, divorce, spouse abuse, child abuse, and sometimes this can have a major effect on their children. Everyday in some country around the world a family is going through pain and depression because of miscommunication. Sometimes if your child is a teenager they deal with depression by they do not express how they feel, from the fact that their parents are going through problems. Teenagers today like to keep their feelings to themselves instead of talking about them. Some Parents sometimes get caught in their problems; that they do not take the time to realize that their child is experiencing pain or depression. Problems in families can lead teenagers to suicide, abuse towards themselves, drugs, and internal emotions. Things like this can cause a teenager to start “acting” different and doing things they do not usually do. Family problems are the worst type of problems to deal with and sometimes it can affect parents with their jobs and children with school. So should parents keep their problems to themselves and not let the children know they are having problems? Or should children keep their emotions internal and suffer from depression? I’m going to let you think about these questions, then get back to you in the next blog...